No, I'm not being obscene.
We had two of these in the house/conservatory today.
It is a rather large Crane Fly. Crane Flies normally have clear, rather boring, wings; but not this one. We think that this particular species, Tipula maxima, is rather attractive. I can imaginge that many people would think that they might sting or bite but, no, they are completely inoffensive. We put them back outside.
Amanda took the photograph.